For Christmas I was given a really beautiful hanging bird table. It’s just lovely – slate roof, oak walls, hangs from a stand by a length of tasteful rope. It makes my other bird feeders, which are of the chrome and glass variety, look boring and utilitarian. The birds thought it was great too, and flocked around it looking picturesque. All was set fair, but the birds and I weren’t the only ones to admire it. Rats (and I keep reading that we’re only ever 10′ away from a rat, which I think is particularly true in rural parts) noticed it too and organised themselves into a raiding party. I imagine it went something like this (anthropomorphism rules OK, imagine Boss Rat shouting through a megaphone): “right, action! Rodney and Richard dig a hole. Now Ralph and Roger, climb up and gnaw through the rope! Nice one, boys! OK we’ve got it on the ground so I want Reginald and Rodney to roll it over and drag it over on top of the new hole and now perhaps Ruby and Renate could make a nice nest inside it. Well done, guys – job well done!” It all happened in one night, and please note that all names have been changed to protect the innocent. So my gorgeous new bird feeder was upside down on top of a rat hole with a rats’ nest inside it. Far from ideal, unless you’re one of the rats involved in whole sordid business, in which case the whole thing went swimmingly. So for the moment it’s back to chrome and glass (rat proof). But it was a very, very nice Christmas present. And I’ll think of some way to use it again that will also baffle rats.
Just discovered you have written your final contribution for Country Living. Although this saddens me greatly, I am very pleased to have found you here and I will follow this blog avidly. As a Brit living in NZ, your column reminded me of the village I have left behind and always made me smile – thanks for that!
Dear Sian, Great that my column made you smile, that was always my intention (because rural life is very, very funny at times and I think this needs to be celebrated!) Yes, do read my blog because at the moment it is a holding paddock for funny things that occur. And as soon as I know where my column is going next I’ll put it on the website, also more details of the book of the columns which is nearly ready for the publishers. Lovely to think of you reading my words in NZ. Best wishes, Aly
We lived next to a lake in Germany and had water rats that soon found the bird table.
We soon stopped feeding the birds when you looked at the window and saw a horrible rat sitting looking at you!
I have also followed you in Country Living since you wrote your first article and looked forward to reading it each month. I’m sorry that you are no longer there but glad they gave your blog address so we haven’t completely lost you!
Sarah
Hi Sarah, so glad you enjoyed the column. Yes, rats are a pain and our fight with them is ongoing. Every time I go out to feed the birds I can hear them jeering from their holes. It’s great to know you’ll be reading the blog. Best wishes, Aly