My horse Slip is very dear to me, but like many of his sensitive disposition he has Issues. He has issues with burdock leaves: too large and could easily have dragons concealed beneath them. He has issues with wheelie bins: same reasons as burdock leaves. He has issues with donkeys (“have you SEEN the ears?!”) And above all he has issues with being ridden on his own. In company with another horse to share dragon watch duties, he is delightful to ride. On his own he is all revolving eyeballs and wobbly knees.
Today I rode with a friend who lives about half a mile away. After an excellent hack we parted company at her field and Slip and me had to do what I think of as the Trembling Walk of Terror – the short ride back through the village. And my goodness it lived up to its name today.
First up was Frank wheeling a wheelbarrow. That was bad enough in itself, because his wheelbarrow squeaks (if you think about it) (and Slip does) in exactly the way a dragon would squeak if it was crouched to spring. But to add to the horror, Frank’s wheelbarrow contained a pile of hedgetrimmings and a little furry dog. Slip hyperventilated and covered the next quarter of a mile in ten-yard leaps.
Then we were at The Field With The Llama, and Slip finds llamas even worse than donkeys – it’s not just the ears, it’s the neck. This brought us straight on to Audrey’s house. Audrey works at her garden constantly in company with her downtrodden gardener. I clocked Audrey, doing something complicated with bamboos at the far end of the garden, but I didn’t see until too late that her gardener was clipping the hedge. Hearing hoofbeats he popped his head over the top to say hello – and became to Slip a torso-less head, still miraculously talking but obviously a zombie. So we set off like a rocket and did the next stretch of village at warp speed.
We were nearly home when we met my geese swaggering up the road. My fault, I’d left the gate open and they had gone in search of cars to chase. No cars, but a hysterical horse, which was just as much fun – we covered the last few yards with three geese pounding along behind us hissing their heads off and trying to catch Slip’s bright orange tail.
Slip’s recovered now, but he says he’s never, ever again leaving his field without an armed escort. And I am in complete agreement.
There be Dragons!
Oh, Aly. What a great story. Dragons under leaves. Disembodied heads. Geese chasing horse tails. Trembling Walk of Terror. Poor Slip!
One of my favorite playlists on my ipod is one that contains uplifting and magical, childhood songs like Peter Paul and Marys, Puff the Magic Dragon and Return to Pooh Corner sung by Kenny Logans. Always takes me to another universe just for a while.
So …no mention of rain? Are you finally getting some days off from the torrent?
Hi Barbara, there’s rain all right – lots of it – but I’m trying to ignore it and hope it goes away! I’m right with you on Puff the Magic Dragon, one of my favourite songs. Just wish the dragons would stop lurking near Slip though. Aly x
I hope you have recovered too from your ride home!
Sarah x
Hi Sarah, I’m over it now, but Slip needs councilling. He keeps seeing these dragons … Aly x
Loved your Stroll Thru the Village. Missed you from CL. The magazine is just not the same without Notes from a Stone Cottage! I’ve ordered THE BOOK. My son has found your blog for me. It’s a great way to start my day with a smile (& a good giggle). Thanks Aly .
Hi Marilynn, great to have you here and delighted you’d ordered The Book! I do hope you’ll be pleased with it when it comes – I just love it but then I’m biased. Best wishes, Aly
Oh my golly, Aly! That sounds so familiar!
My old horse Pritz literally taught me trick-riding when I was a kid/ teen at the most inappropriate times – in front of others. I’m very proud of you for not coming off Slip. Pritz also had geese issues, namely one from the flock of our yard that decided that it too was a horse and was completely in love with Pritz. It was only a matter of time before goose was a flat goose. You can’t stand under a high spirited nervous horse everyday without something coming to pass. Your story really brightened up my day, Aly♥
Hi Janine, great to hear from somebody else who relishes a spirited horse! Slip has issues, but is worth every one of them though I sometimes wish there weren’t quite so many dragons lying in wait wherever we ride. Aly x