Two Things

I’m writing about two Things today.  Thing One is the Country Living Christmas Fair, taking place in London in early Nov.  I’ll be there, giving more of a chat than a talk, in the Theatre at 2.30pm on Wed 7 and Thu 8 Nov.  Should you happen to be at the Fair then, do pleeeeeeese consider popping into the theatre and keeping me company!  I’ll be burbling on about the joys and pitfalls of writing about my neighbours, and about the joys (no pitfalls that I’ve noticed yet) of writing about my animals.  With accompanying pictures and photos.  Apart from anything else, I’d just love to meet you.

Thing Two.  A couple of weeks ago I was about to tell you about what the geese did to Mrs Addington, when I got completely side-tracked by seeing a ghost or possibly a reveller on their way to a lunchtime fancy dress party in Bath and wrote about that instead.  Back to the geese.

Mrs Addington has recently bought a bicycle.  It is splendid thing, of the sit-bolt-upright-and-have-a-wicker-basket variety.  The bike is black and stately, and Mrs Addington has started to majestically peddle around the village, ringing the old-fashioned bike bell to clear the road as she sails past dog walkers, ramblers and horse people.  She doesn’t stop to talk to anybody, the whole thing is far too important for that.  She swishes past, gazing ahead to a far horizon.

Anyway, a fortnight ago I was filling a barrow full of hardcore to dump in the muddy orchard gateway and had left the gate open.  And of course the geese went through it and out onto the road.  And of course they chose the very moment that Mrs Addington came swooshing down the hill past our cottage.  I heard the tingle of her bicycle bell, and the honk of the geese in attack mode, and the grating noise of an expensive new bike brake being rigorously applied, and the hoarse cry of a pillar of the community being mugged by a gander.

I abandoned my barrow and rushed to the rescue – just in time.  Mrs Addington was upended in the thick grass of the verge, and Porous was psyching himself up to continue his very successful attack on the bike by seizing a genuine beakful of Mrs A.  Mrs A was encased in a particularly rigid tweed, so he probably wouldn’t have got through, but the situation was far from ideal.  I chased Porous away, helped Mrs A and her mercifully undamaged bike to the upright position and offered her a cup of tea (“thank you, no!!”)  Porous waddled off to his wives and told them loudly about his glorious victory, with accompanying gestures, which didn’t help either.

Mrs Addington has graciously forgiven the geese, and is still peddling decorously around the place, but I notice that she now gives my neck of the woods a wide berth.  And I can’t say I blame her!

10 thoughts on “Two Things

  1. The puppy has ‘loved’ someone off his bike before now. The biker was noticeably less gracious than Mrs Addington, rigid tweed or no. You’ve set my day off beautifully. Thank you.

    • Hi Kate, actually Mrs Addington wasn’t very gracious when it happened, but thawed when I abased myself on behalf of the geese! Her tweeds aren’t far off chain mail, but I really didn’t want Porous to test them out for himself. Aly x

  2. Poor Mrs A! Glad she’s forgiven Porous, though. However, there are one or two people I’d like to introduce him to…. Oooh musn’t be naughty :)
    Janet x

    • Hi Janet, Porous is dreadful, always, and I wouldn’t wish him on anybody. But Mrs A isn’t easy either, and I really felt that honours were about even. Aly x

  3. Oh so funny. Probably not for Mrs A though. Having lived with geese I can visualise the scene perfectly. And having been bitten more than once can vouch for the fact that it hurts! Rigid tweed is obviously the answer.

    • It’s a real bite, isn’t it? Luckily Porous hadn’t quite brought himself to the point of taking on the tweed when I appeared on the scene and persuaded him to go away. Mrs A doesn’t do humour, but once she had gone I practically rolled in the road!! Aly x

  4. Oh Aly – I laughed till I had tears in my eyes over the saga of Mrs. A. meets Porous! I often wonder if you realize how much pleasure your blogs, humorous or otherwise, bring into the lives of those who read them. As a somewhat isolated caregiver your blogs read early in the morning give a much appreciated start to the my day. This must be true for many folks no matter on which continent they live. Thank you!

    • Hi Marilynn, so glad that you enjoy them. I really enjoy writing my blog. And every time something happens – often something not quite ideal – something like Porous spilling Mrs A – I think ‘ha! that’s something I can blog about!’ Aly x

  5. This makes me think I may have been right to have sheep instead of geese as ‘lawnmowers’! Tuscan geese are just as vicious as Wiltshire geese.
    I am looking forward to tearing myself away from my stand at the Fair to hear your talk; village and farming in the UK and Tuscany are not so dissimilar! ( well, we had drought instead of deluge this summer, but it is two sides of the same coin).

    • Hi Wanda, huzzah if you are coming to listen – that will make a guaranteed two of us! Yes, the geese are awful but very useful in their own way. The sheep we have are darlings, but not so good as watch dogs. Looking forward v much to meeting you and your stall. Aly x

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